It’s here, and it’s worse than we expected. I think we all felt a tinge of disappointment when we found out Pitbull was doing the theme song for Men In Black 3 instead of Will Smith. The cheesy brilliance of the Will Smith theme song is a kind of nostalgic tradition for those of us who grew up in the 90s, and that bald-headed asshole Pitbull is besmirching our childhood memories.
Here are some of the most unforgivable crimes committed by Pitbull on “Back In Time”:
The opening lyric of “You’re groovy baby / Let’s make a movie, baby.” Yes, MIB3 is a movie. No, you don’t need to reference that in the lyrics.
The insanely fake sounding synthesized trumpet lead. Toot toot!
Sampling the Mickey & Sylvia classic “Love Is Strange,” best known from Dirty Dancing.
The lyric “Dontcha know that I don’t give a number two?” You have more number two hits than any modern pop star I know, Pitbull.
The hook is “But to understand the future, we have to go back in time.” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, PITBULL?
Why yes, there is in fact a dubstep bridge that comes out of nowhere.
That should be enough to convict Pitbull for crimes against humanity. Let’s look back at our favourite Will Smith theme songs, and forget this ever happend.