One Direction did everything right. They recorded their album in a professional studio! They had photographs taken of them all crossing their arms, looking really cool! They even got their debut EP on iTunes! “Look, Mom! We’re gonna be famous,” they said, probably.
Just as the American hunks in One Direction were about to sweep the nation with their auto-tuned pop rock brilliance, some jerk-ass Simon Cowell bank-rolled troupe of British and Irish nerds decided to name their manufactured X Factor pop band One Direction too! Then, they had the audacity to cross the Atlantic and dance all over the ORIGINAL One Direction’s front lawn! THE DREAM IS DEAD. “Oh, they’re gonna pay big time,” thought the guy with the faux-hawk, clinching his fist into a ball, most likely.
That’s right. There’s an American band named One Direction that has been selling their debut EP The Light on iTunes since February 2011. Despite the fact that (U.K.) One Direction’s explosion in popularity has surely benefited (U.S.) One Direction’s iTunes sales, YouTube searches, and general interest, they’re suing Simon Cowell and One Direction for $1 million, claiming that One Direction (U.K.) is causing consumer confusion and destroying the goodwill of One Direction (U.S.) in America.
Sure, maybe One Direction (U.S.) had the name first, but is all this consumer confusion really worth a million bucks? Maybe the only fair thing for One Direction (U.K.) to do is to change their name to One Direction-X. Whoa, that’s kind of badass.